The Waffle Stomper (A Cautionary Tale)

Miss Millicent, of Camberwell,
Performed a deed too foul to tell.
She shunned the pan, she scorned the seat,
And used the shower with her feet.

She dropped her offerings, brown and square,
And pressed them through the grating there.
With heel and toe she stamped and ground,
Until it vanished underground.

Her plumber, pale, with wrench in hand,
Declared it more than pipes could stand.
“The toilet waits! It stands right near!
Why spurn its lawful service here?”

But Millicent, with brazen tone,
Said “Waffle-stomping is my own.
I press it down, I wash it clean,
The shower serves as fine latrine.”

And so she trod, and stomped, and smeared,
While all who heard looked on and jeered.
Until the drains, with dreadful cough,
Exploded, and her floor blew off.

Now children, mark this lesson true:
The shower’s not the place to poo.
For those who dare to stomp and squeeze
May lose their homes—and pipes—and knees.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrjJZR7lzMc