The Man With a Million Usernames

 The Man With a Million Usernames

In the clickety world of the World Wide Web,
Where the posts pop up and the GIFs all ebb,
Lived a poster—a trickster, a curious chap—
Who lived on a forum called ChatteryChat.

He first came along as BobTheWise,
With facts on frogs and homemade pies.
He typed and he tapped, then he typed even more,
Then vanished! Poof! Just out the door.

Next came a fellow named SneakyLou,
Who knew kung fu and code stuff too.
He talked about ducks and the Queen and Tibet,
Then shouted, "I'm bored!" and deleted his net.

A week went by and who should appear?
A user named MooseWithAFear!
He posted in riddles, he posted in rhyme,
He posted his soup at quarter-past-nine.

"You're Moose!" said the mods. "No, Lou!" said a guy.
"You're Bob!" said a third. "You're clearly a spy!"
"You're everybody, all rolled in one!"
But the poster just smiled and typed, "I'm not done."

He came as ProfessorOfCloudsAndBananas,
Then TwilightDestroyerOfSilkenPyjamas,
Then DorisTheBold, and QuantumMcSnail,
Then SirFluffington riding a very small whale.

He sparked little wars and long rambling threads,
On cheese, on the moon, on the price of eggheads.
He'd leave, then return as a whole different bloke—
With a brand-new account and a terrible joke.

He never was mean and he never was rude,
Just baffling, strange, and completely unglued.
We'd guess and we'd guess, but we never could say—
"Is he back now? Is this him today?"

And maybe he's posting this moment, right now,
As GertrudeTheLoud or PresidentCow.
Or maybe he's gone, riding off on the breeze...
To a new forum home where he posts about bees.

So if you see someone a little off-kilter,
With stories of hedgehogs who live in a yurt-er...
Be kind, take a breath, and remember the game—
It might be that poster, with yet one more name!